Moving abroad is often seen as the answer. A new country, a fresh start. A place where you finally feel like you belong.
But what if belonging isn't something that you find out there? What if it's something that you build within yourself?
In today's episode, we talk with a resilience expert and author of The Home Within to explore what it really means to feel at home no matter where you are and the adversities that life brings to you.
We had to redefine what's really important, what's happiness, what's success, and also be okay with things being imperfect.
And more than being okay with it, we have to still love life, you know? And it takes time to heal and we can't just do it from one day to the next because we will shock also.
And maybe sometimes the answers we are searching while living abroad are simpler than we think.
Life is actually quite simple. We overcomplicate it and we look always for sophisticated solutions for something that we already know.
So what I'm telling you now, I'm sure everyone knows it already, but they are expecting a very big answer to come.
This is life, and very often the answers are all the things you need you already know and you already have it.
So maybe the real journey isn't about finding a place, but about returning to yourself. Today on Almost Local, the living abroad story of Nina Aziz Justin. Let's start.
Hi, I'm Nina Aziz. I was born in Malaysia, so Aziz is my family name and Justin is my married name. My husband is French, so the family name is Justin.
But for the purpose of this conversation and for all the international people listening, it's spelled like Justin Bieber. So Nina Aziz Justin.
I am working as a business resilience mentor. By that, basically how founders of start-ups and scale-ups increase their resilience through their business model, processes, and also skills in order to make business and create businesses that actually make money.
Then I'm also a writer. I have published a book called Home Within. It is a nonlinear memoir on self-belonging across different cultures and change. And I'm a mom of two daughters. And currently I am in France, but I normally live in the Netherlands.
Nice. So maybe we start from the very beginning. You said that you're originally from Malaysia. How was your life before moving abroad? How was your growing up and your childhood there?
I would describe my childhood there to be quite typical of a childhood of a Malaysian child born in the 70s. I played a lot outside. I was born in a place very close to the beach, so I spend most of my younger age childhood up to the age of five, six, playing outside under big trees playing on the beach.
Yeah, I don't remember ever watching television in my childhood. I played a lot with sticks and stones and leaves and so on. So it was a magical childhood. And I later went to a boarding school in Malaysia from the age of 11 plus until I was about 17 years old.
And after that I was educated in England. Since then, I have not actually lived in Malaysia. I've always lived outside Malaysia. And when I left Malaysia at a very young age, I have left Malaysia on my own. So my family, my mom, dad, my brother, they are all in Malaysia. They never left. So I left Malaysia on my own.
What brought you to take that decision, especially at such a young age like you were like underage?
I didn't feel like I was an underage person because you know when you're young, you feel very grown up and you have no understanding of the world as it was at the time. There was no internet. There was no mobile phone. And even then I had absolutely no fear. So I think this is probably a feeling that many young people feel, right? And also I have enormous respect for my parents who then also agreed to let me go.
Right. What brought me there? Since I was little, I've always been attracted to the world, I would say. I was seven years old when my uncle who also studied in England came back to Malaysia and gave me a little pencil case with the London Double Decker bus. And somehow that was so inspirational.
I declared then that I too would like to go and study in England and I want to live there. And I want to work there at the age of seven. So my parents obviously said, yes, of course, you know, why not? Because I had this big grand imagination that I will go on that double Decker bus. So that was like the biggest attraction at the time.
And yeah, so when I finally got to England, I did go on the double Decker bus, but I also confirm all the initial feelings that I had because I was so happy to discover there was really another world beyond my magical childhood world, you know?
And I really love being among different races and experiencing new things. I was always even, you know, as a young person interested in having friends from different cultures.
I wanted to always go over to my neighbor's house if they were not of the same race as me, because Malaysia is a multiracial country. I wanted to try to eat their food. So it's always been in my, I would say, personality to live beyond who I am and what I know.
So living abroad really clicked with you, besides, I don't know, you didn't have an idea of what you were going to study, for example. Did you check universities before going there or like anything, or you just went out of the curiosity?
I went to continue my studies, obviously. But yeah, I don't, that's the funny part. I remember doing some preparation, but not too thorough. I think, you know, the basic structure was already planned.
Like, oh, I'm going to go there to continue my education. I'm going to go to study this. And when I graduate, I would like to see if I can continue to work internationally. That was always the plan, what I had in my young mind.
But I was not totally fixed on an idea, you know? So I think that helps a lot because I kind of dance with life.
Does it work though that a 17-year-old girl decides to, 'I'm leaving Malaysia and I go to the UK.' How was this transition and this process?
You said that you had an uncle there, it was a family?
No, nobody. When I finally got there, there was no one because my uncle also did his A-levels there. I mean, there is eight. I wouldn't say it's a tradition in my family, but it's not unknown that some members of my family, even my mom's siblings.
My mom did not, but her siblings went to study abroad. So it's not unknown. It's not, I'm not totally the first in the family who did that.
So I have cousins who went to Japan. I have cousins who went to New Zealand to study. I have cousins who went to the US. So it's not entirely unknown.
When I told my parents that I wanted to study abroad, they said, 'Well, you need to make the grades. You need to be accepted to school.' So I made that happen.
So I made my grades and I arranged for the right school and I got accepted and so on and so forth. So it's not like I went there and I had nothing and I was just roaming around in another country. That wasn't the case.
But yeah, so basically I followed the steps, the natural steps, because I also arrived as a student. So I needed the student visa and so on. So I got accepted at an educational institution. And then when I graduated, I did another masters and then my first job was actually in London as well.
So I just continued to progress as it was. But remember, I always wanted to have an international job. So I was also going for an international job. And eventually I worked for a German company in London.
When I got a promotion, I had to go to the head office in Germany. So from London, I went to Germany. And then from Germany, I was in the Netherlands. And now my husband's French, so we are kind of trying out what it's like to live in France right now. But our home is still in the Netherlands.
Where did you move in from? In Germany? I'm curious.
Yes, because you were in Germany, right?
Yeah. I lived there for four years and a half. Yes.
Wow, and you're not there anymore?
No, I'm in Italy now.
Okay. I was in a very small place called Guttersloh because I worked for a big German company called Bettelsmann. I don't know if you know that.
Yeah, absolutely.
So the head office, the Hauptverwaltung of Bettelsmann is in Guttersloh. Guttersloh is in between Hainover and Dusseldorf. It's in Nordrhein-Westfalen. So it's really, it's really like in the middle of nowhere.
Okay. So coming from London, having worked and live in London, going to Germany was a big job. But as it was, I was also not frightened of that because I saw it as an opportunity to discover a new place.
I was working for a very big media company at international colleagues. And yeah, and I thought, yeah, why not? I mean, if I don't like it, I can always leave, right?
I mean, there was never the feeling of something being forever. So it was my sense of adventure, I think, and also curiosity and always the desire to learn.
Somehow without really articulating it like that, you know, I was not this young person who could have articulated it as that. But somehow I just jumped and did it.
And there was like a whole new world waiting for me on the other side. Yeah.
Nice. Cool.
Did you like your German days, by the way?
I did. I mean, my partner is German, so I suppose I took that from there.
Wow, amazing.
I'm still connected with Frankfurt. I lived in Frankfurt first.
Amazing.
All the time. And I really like it. Although I must say, I'm very Mediterranean in that sense. So my time in Greece and in Italy feels a little bit more close to home than what it was in Germany.
I enjoyed it. It was a great opportunity, and it made sense to do the jump, as you said.
Okay. So you went also for work then, right?
Yes, yes, and I moved for work there. And then I followed my partner to Greece because she's an archaeologist. So that took me to Greece and then now to Italy.
That's why we are touring.
How amazing. A whole European tour. A little bit like yourself, because at the end, you also did Netherlands. You did now France. When does Netherlands come in this adventure? Like, it was another job relocation or?
Yeah, it was something that happened unplanned because actually I was going to go back to Asia. I had a job opportunity back in Asia, but then I was pregnant with my first daughter. Then we thought, oh, I'll stay in Europe, and Amsterdam is quite nice.
Who would say no to Amsterdam? At the time I was just like, okay, let's go there. Yeah, so it ended as the country in which I live the longest of all the different countries. Yeah, it was not planned. I sort of went with the flow.
And this time, too, we are renovating our house in Amsterdam, so we're like, okay, well, let's try because my husband's French. We say, well, let's try to see what it's like to live in France. So we've been here for a few months now, but the Netherlands still home, kind of. Yes.
There was any moment in this whole moving around where you felt a little bit more disconnected or questioned your identity or like were not belonging to where you were going?
Look, of course, I think the question of identity is a question that is probably the hardest, because when people think about moving around, they think about logistics, they think about paperwork, they think about languages, they think about all the sort of practical stuff.
But identity is very, very, very much the thing that people don't talk about. But what I also think in your own country, you can have the same questions. Some people like me, I was obviously born in Malaysia, raised in a Malay family.
I always look out and always search for something. So I think when I move around, what I found is that my identity became quite fluid. My identity changes every time I live somewhere and I reinvent myself as well.
So not entirely, but there are parts of me that get the opportunity to be reinvented with every move. And I think that's also why some people love living in different cultures, because you adapt, right? It's survival.
So you learn new things, you adapt new things, you pick up some new skills. But the identity part is something that, in my case, has become quite fluid, because I've lived across borders now almost my entire life. And it's also the subject of my book, which is about how do you then be okay and find your home within yourself, even if the things around you change and the fact that you reinvent yourself over and over again.
The sense of belonging and not being part of being tied to a specific place or like finding your belonging in yourself rather than the location where you are.
Correct. It's not outside you. The belonging is within you rather than outside you. Of course, it sounds very philosophical, but in the end, isn't that also something that one has to do even if they never move?
Right? Absolutely. The inner realization. Let's call it like this a little bit. Correct. Yes.
When does it happen that you are working for an international multinational company to do the work that you are doing right now? When you start writing, when you start coaching, how does this happen?
So that is also another process of reinvention, I would say. I trained as a lawyer in England. Then I decided, well, I love the subject. It's not the environment that I liked. So I did a master's in publishing.
So that was already the glimpse of my future there. And once I finished the master's, I had a job offer with Bethelsmann in London, because it's a big media company. They have a publishing arm.
They have digital publishing, book publishing, and so on. And I ended up in Germany heading their licensing business for their digital business. At the time, it's called Lycos Europe.
So I then had my international job, heading up news and personalization in 14 countries. So then I had my international job. I could always travel around the world.
And when I left Gujarsloh, I took another job in Dusseldorf, also heading up international licensing business units. So I continued to work internationally.
And after that, I started my own startup. So I have started three startups. And then why I'm doing what I'm doing today is because my second daughter is a special needs child.
So none of which has actually been anything that I expected. I live a life of openness. So I'm just, you know, trying and experiencing different parts of my career that could still develop.
But when my daughter has her condition, I couldn't really work the same way as I did, because I've been working internationally, scaling up businesses and scaling up my own business.
And work across 47 countries, in fact. But I couldn't really do that anymore. I needed to spend more time at home and take my little daughter for therapy and so on and so forth.
So I decided to work as a business mentor, but helping other people do what I used to do. And that way, I don't have to really get on the plane anymore.
My clients are still multinationals or people from different parts of the world. I have American clients. I have Asian clients. So I still work internationally.
It's just that I do not have to physically get on the plane to do the old work that I did. And writing has always been one of my biggest passions.
So I've always loved to write. So it was my dream to write a book. And I wrote a book about what I believe is an area which I have experienced and can share with other people, which is self-belonging in times of change, basically. Cross cultures and change.
How much of this experience with your daughter has shaped the fact of like the resilience that you have endured?
I also wanted to ask because I read on your bio and the information that I got. She was born with TRIP 12, as far as I understood.
Yes. She has a rare genetic condition. It's also de novo. It's not something that she inherited from anyone in our family, but it is just nature.
She was one in 21 in the world when she was diagnosed. So no one could help us. There was no information. The doctors were reliant on us to help them gather more information so that they can build the knowledge on the subject.
So we were very much on our own, which is also why everything had to stop, at least for me, not for both of us, because obviously someone has to to maintain the family financially.
But I needed to pay close attention to what the family needs and also what she needs.
How much has it changed my life? I think it has changed all of our lives.
Completely. We had to redefine what's really important, what's happiness, what's success, and also be okay with things being imperfect.
And more than being okay with it, we have to still love life. It takes time to heal, and we can't just do it from one day to the next because we were shocked also.
There's a lot of sadness around that. But now, we still live our life. We still are experiencing. I have reinvented myself. My husband continues to work in his line of work.
Yeah, I think humans are very tough. We can do many things. But I think there's also one aspect of life which expats or people who want to move away from their own countries have to really pay attention to.
As long as things are going to plan, it will be amazing. But in our case, we were far away from our families. We were in the Netherlands. My husband's French. My family's in Malaysia. So we were doing this on our own.
So I think for many, let's say, expats families or people who decided to move abroad, they don't anticipate that. And I don't think this will happen to the majority of the families.
But if it happens, you do need to see how far do you want to go with your own plans. But I also believe that is the same if you never move abroad.
But we decided that we're going to continue our life being happy as well. Nobody has to really sacrifice their life completely because this is not going to destroy us. We're just going to have to learn to live with it differently.
Amazing. Thanks a lot for sharing this story. It's inspiring.
Thank you.
I would say we jump to the to the first replies questions and we enter a little bit more on the life on, although right now you're not physically in the Netherlands. But I would say we talk about Netherlands because it's the place where you live longer and you have it more fresh.
Yes, definitely.
Let's go.
First question that I have, it's cultural adjustment, the thing that took you a while to adapt to when you moved to the Netherlands.
I would say it is the manners. The Dutch people are very direct, more than the Germans. And when I moved to Germany, I thought the Germans are very direct. But in Holland, they are even more direct, more direct than Germans, more direct than the English, more direct than the Malaysians.
Second one that I have, it's social life. How did you meet new people, new friends when you moved there?
I met my first ever friend who's still in my life now through a baby class because I moved there when I had my first daughter. And I would recommend that anyone who arrives in the Netherlands, go and join a hobby class, because then you will meet people who enjoy the same thing because life outside work is a massive thing in the Netherlands.
Yes.
Work is not life. You work and then there's your life and life outside work is big. So do sports, do arts, do anything you love outside work. And that is often the best place to meet your bestest friends.
Third one that I have, it's language. How did you deal with that?
Well, the Dutch language is definitely one of the most difficult languages to learn and to speak. You can't get by without speaking Dutch. But if you are staying for more than, let's say, three years and you would like to belong there emotionally, I would highly recommend that you speak Dutch.
And if you want to learn it quickly and you want to learn it well, there is a place in the south of Holland. It's a convent where there are nuns. It's called Regina Cooley and it's full immersion. You will come out of there in two weeks speaking decent Dutch.
I can tell you the queen of the Netherlands, who's Argentinian, did that. And when you hear her speak Dutch, you think she is Dutch. Yes.
That's a very good tip.
Yes, yes, yes. Because otherwise it's going to take you so long and the Dutch people speak really good English and you will never really speak Dutch because you can get lazy because Dutch people are very good with languages in general.
Next one that I have, it's cost of living. How expensive it is and so on.
Well, if you arrive in Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Utrecht, i.e. the big capital, the big cities in the Netherlands, cost of living is very high. On average, you will spend quite a lot of money on your rent if you are renting. I noticed recently that even a room, which is not even in the center of Amsterdam, a room somewhere like, you know, maybe 15 minutes bike ride from the center will cost you 1200 euros per month.
The travel cost is obviously cheap because you can ride your bike everywhere. But if you want to rent, it's expensive and the Netherlands just simply do not have enough places to rent because of the taxation system there.
So you might end up homeless if you don't find a good place quickly and you don't have a lot of money to pay big amount of money.
Touching this, the next one that I have is finding a home. How do people find apartments when you move there?
Well, normally, as usual, the Netherlands is not a big country. So there is one website that everyone goes to if they want to buy a house. It's called Funda. Everybody goes to Funda. You don't bother with anything else and you can find an agent to help you buy or rent. But because of the housing crisis in the Netherlands, you probably are more likely to find it through your network, your friends. That is just the situation there. Unfortunately, everyone who arrives in the Netherlands unprepared for this will be very surprised.
The next one that I have, it's living like a local. Something that you recommend to do to blend in with the Dutch people.
Ride a bike. That would be highly recommended and never, ever, ever flaunt your wealth because the Dutch people in general will frown upon that. It's a country that is very egalitarian. So it's very flat. They don't like anyone to stick out too much.
So try to look as normal as possible. Do not wear, you know, have a lot of brands on your clothes. Do not drive too fancy a car. Avoid showing off completely.
This is a country where the royal children and even the prime minister cycle to their school and to the offices in the rain. So try to put it back into context, you know. They have a saying in the Netherlands, they say "duur van normaal", you know.
So do be normal, you know. Just look normal because then you are special enough.
You touched upon the next one a little bit, work life. How is the work culture? You said it's important the life outside of it, but is it a nice place to work?
Well, the Dutch people love the work life balance like many, you know, Northern European Nordic countries. They look forward. When the sun shines, they would like to spend as much time as possible outside.
When it's snowing, when the canals are frozen, they want to ice skate. So the work life thing is really about working enough to live well.
So they don't really understand why anyone should stay in the office beyond, let's say, 6 o'clock because dinner is served very early and family life is so important in the Netherlands.
This is something that people probably don't really realize, but most Dutch families would like to eat dinner together every day and dinner sometimes can be served as at least five o'clock.
So working hours is not very Dutch. Family is important and life is really, really, really heavily connected to the weather.
So when the weather is nice, most people don't want to stay at work too long because they want to be outside.
They want to take their boats, they want to, you know, cycle. They want to have the drinks with their friends just on the street.
People still live like that, even in the biggest cities. Next one that I have, it's getting around.
I mean, you already talk about bicycles multiple times, but maybe outside of the city, do you need a car in the Netherlands or is the public transport good enough to move around?
Public transport is as good as the German public transport. Everything is reliable.
Even when you want to go from Amsterdam to Eindhoven and Eindhoven is in the south of the Netherlands, trains will still run throughout the night, maybe less frequently, but there are trains running.
It's a very efficient country so you can pay with your bank card. You don't even need an app.
But if you want an app, you can have an app. If you want to buy a card like the Oyster Card of London and you want to use that and the Dutch, they have their own card called OV, cheap card.
It's a very pragmatic country. It's very easy. It's, you know, I think it's out of the ordinary there.
Yeah. Obviously you need one or two bikes. At least two because one could be punctured or one could be stolen overnight. So you should always have the backup bike for your main bike.
Next one that I have, it's healthcare. How does the system work? Is it easy to access? It's quick, good quality?
Yes. How does the system work? It's, the hospitals are actually private institutions in a public system. So there's hardly any private hospital in the luxurious sense in the Netherlands.
Because it's a very egalitarian country, whether you are rich, whether you're poor, you go to the same places when you're ill. Okay. And they have worked out the economics behind this very well.
The GPs are the gatekeeper to the system. So that's your, your physicist, physician, sorry, your physician. So you can't go directly to the hospital.
You cannot go directly to the specialist. You cannot just go and get tests done unless you have a referral from your GP.
And your GP will not give you anything more than what you need. Very often when you're ill, they say, well, have you rested enough? Did you sleep enough?
Did you drink water and try the paracetamol first? And I'm not joking, this is something that everyone knows in the Netherlands.
And if there is something serious, I can promise you, they take it very seriously. They are very efficient and they will act on it quite fast.
So in that way, people are pretty, I would say they're not very precious. If you're not feeling well, you just say, oh, I'm going to rest. I'm going to drink water. I'm going to sleep first.
If something is serious, you can go to the emergency rooms. The hospitals are really, really beautiful. Some of them, the emergency rooms look like a hotel, but I hope you will not go there.
And the access for an ex-pat is easy. The quality is good. And you can use the system just like anyone else, as long as you're registered with the GP and you are insured.
About bureaucracy. Is it so nice also paperwork, visas, permits and so on?
Less than France, I would say. Less than France. How difficult is it to deal with the visas?
I think if you want to have a work permit, I think it's the same everywhere in Europe. It's always your company is supposed to deal with that.
Local administration is very efficient. Everyone is registered in the Netherlands and they have a very good registration system.
It's been tested during the Second World War and you can find everyone in the Netherlands because it's very well organized.
Once you're registered, you have your social security number and that is used in almost everything.
And you will also have a digital identification number and there is an app for that and you use that for everything.
Every single dealings you will have with the government or administration. It's very efficient.
I think it's definitely one of the best things I love about the Netherlands is the DGID, digital identification.
Cool. I mean, it's nice when there are countries doing digitalization on their bureaucracy.
But it's a small country, right? It's a 17 million people country. Because it's all digitalized, it can be super well organized.
Normally everything can be done quite quickly once you're registered.
Cool. I have two more. The first one is the best and the worst of living there.
What is the best thing and the worst thing about living in the Netherlands?
The best thing is it's calm, it's structured, it's pragmatic, and everyone is equal.
And it's a free country. So there's no judgment on anything. You can be homosexual, you can be Muslim, you can be whatever you want.
No problem. As long as you pay your taxes.
Well, saying that, when everything is so structured and equal, sometimes you like romance, you know?
Because in messiness, like in Italy, there's always a bit of romance in the air. So there's not much romance there.
And if I'm allowed to say this, because I come from a culture of sharing, like giving, actually culture of giving,
the Netherlands is very well known for the tiki. Do you know what a tiki is?
That means that if you and I go for coffee, you will not pick up the bill. I will not pick up the bill.
If you pick up the bill, you send me a tiki for my coffee. And if I pick up the bill, I send you a tiki for your coffee.
And it can be just a euro, but people still send each other tiki.
It is a culture which I had to get used to, especially when I'm the recipient of this tiki.
And I normally don't send people any tiki, you know, because in my culture, we are like, "Oh, don't worry.
You can have this for me." But it's not like that.
And in fact, they don't feel comfortable also taking from somebody because it's very economically driven.
Everything, they protect. Like, okay, I don't have a budget for that.
I didn't think we were going to do this. So this is for me. So I'm not using the most generalized example.
I'm sure some people are not doing this, but this is the most generalized example, and it wouldn't be shocking.
Most people are used to that. No one is shocked by that. Sometimes you can be invited to your friend's house.
And then after you've left the house, they send you a tiki for the food you ate.
I mean, you know, if we don't come from that culture, we'll be like, "Oh my God," you know?
But that's quite normal for some. And not all, I can't generalize, but that's quite normal. So be prepared for that.
Interesting. The last one that I have of this section, it's the top tip.
If somebody is planning to move there, what is your one-line advice?
Be prepared to live in a small, cute place and pay a lot of money for it.
Learn to ride a bike and buy two locks for each bike.
And when you meet a friend, you need to plan for it weeks in advance
because they like to plan everything and always have a waterproof jacket.
All right. Nina, thanks a lot for all the responses on The Netherlands.
I think the audience will love to hear and understand how Netherlands is, in reality, when you live there.
I will jump to the mini game that I prepared a little bit of a surprise for you, let's say like this.
I call this the resilience test. So I'm going to give you some real life situations
that many people who moved abroad experienced.
And then you can tell me how most of people get it wrong in that perspective
and what a resilient response to that would be from your experience.
My God. All right, I'll do my best. I'll do my best.
The first one that I have it's losing your support system after moving abroad.
So how am I supposed to answer this again?
What would be your recommendation if somebody comes to you as a coach saying,
"I lost all my safety network or my support system that I had back home."
So first of all, they must be prepared for this, right?
But if you, for example, miss your best friend, the resilience test would be because making friends, new friends, would take time.
So stay in touch with the ones that you already know at home and you still have technology on your side.
Be patient with yourself. Be patient with yourself.
Say don't expect things to just fall into place quickly.
And see even a stranger as a gift so you can just smile at someone and they might smile at you.
But don't expect like a lot in a short time. So just be patient. Give it some time. Yes.
If someone comes to you saying that they feel like they lost their identity.
You cannot lose who you are. It's inside you.
What is your identity? Is it your passport?
Is it your natural habits? You know, I think create an anchor for your own identity.
If something that comforts you come from your home country, have that next to your bedside.
For example, if you like a tea that you always have from home, you always have that.
And when you're abroad, drink the same tea.
Keep something that is movable and mobile with you wherever you go so that you can always have that same feeling.
Create the feeling. So the outside is the inside.
Next one that I have is someone who is misunderstood in a different culture.
This will happen. This will always happen. Even in your own culture you can be misunderstood.
And in another culture it's even more. Forgive yourself perhaps for making mistakes because you don't know better.
And for yeah, use it as a lesson like to learn. But don't beat yourself too hard about it.
I mean you're learning. Everything is new. I mean I have that here in France.
Because I have the misconception that French people are very relaxed.
But they are actually more reserved than I thought.
So sometimes I would speak French and I use two. But they will then answer me back in "vous".
And then I'm like I have to be formal, you know, because I come from the Netherlands where people are equal.
I don't use two with old people. I mean young kids are talking to me like you, like I'm equal.
So this can happen. And sometimes I feel embarrassed because of the conjugation when you say "vous" you have to change the whole sentence, right?
But then I'm like okay, well I didn't know better. It's okay. It's a lesson.
The last one that I have is someone whose life or her life didn't go as planned.
And they need to start over from scratch.
So you think it didn't go as planned in a new country?
Yes. When they moved, things didn't go as they planned and they need to start from scratch with a new plan.
It can happen. I've heard stories where people move and then their relationship broke apart abroad.
As a resilient person, what would you do then? Focus on what you have.
Focus on what you have even if things are going not according to plan because I'm sure there are certain things that you still have.
And before you throw everything away, decide how important are those things that you still have.
And sometimes it's an opportunity to put yourself together with the things that didn't go well and build something even better.
That's what I would say. But again, I would go back to the first two thoughts I had, which is give it some time.
Don't be too hard on yourself. And everything is just an opportunity to learn.
I know this is going to sound very cliche and philosophical, but life is actually quite simple.
We overcomplicate it and we look always for sophisticated solutions for something that we already know.
So what I'm telling you now, I'm sure everyone knows it already, but they are expecting a very big answer to come.
This is life and very often the answer is all the things you need, you already know and you already have it.
So it's an opportunity to open that box, look at it again, and see, okay, it's not as bad as you think.
And this is how you grow.
Amazing. Thanks a lot for all the tips and recommendations and for your perspective on resilience.
Talking about the topic, before we close the episode, what projects are you working on?
We talk a little bit about your book, The Home and Within.
What are you working right now on and how can people find you, of course, if they are interested in checking?
I'm still working with a few founders of companies.
I'm still working on group projects, but I'm very selective on who I work with.
What I am working on already is already my next books and it will be the one that's coming next is going to be an extension of the first one.
And the first one is the book called The Home Within, which is for anyone who have ever fell in between or in the process of reinvention.
So whether they are in between countries, in between identities or in between versions of themselves.
And it is not a guide book.
It is more like a companion.
It is also a blend of neuroscience, philosophy and live experience.
So my next books will be slightly different, but it still will be neuroscience philosophy, a lot more tech stuff because I work with many tech companies.
It will be more or less in the same genre, which is resilience, reinventions, belonging and identity and focusing on growth, basically and self-development.
Where can people find the book where they can find you?
You have websites, links.
Of course, I will include all of them in the description of the episode, but if you want to share them, how can people get in contact with you on LinkedIn?
It's Nina as is Justin, or they can go to my website, theresiliencementor.com.
So it's all in one word, the resiliencementor.com.
And the book is available on Amazon and any bookstore digitally.
If you just put my name and the title, The Home Within, you will find it.
And in some countries they are also available in bookstores.
If you walk into the bookstore and if you ask for it, they either have it or they can order it for you.
And I'm also available on Instagram.
So that's Nina.asist.justin.
Perfect.
Then, as always, if you're looking for the listeners, if you're looking for the links, they will be in the description of the episode.
It has been a pleasure talking with you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for accepting the invitation and to share your experience and your knowledge.
It has been a really, really nice episode.
Thank you, Marc.
I am honored.
Yeah.
And I hope our path will cross again in the future and I hope this episode will be useful and entertaining at least.
And I hope people who would like to go and live in the Netherlands are not going to be scared because it's going to be expensive.
It's a very, very nice country.
It's beautiful.
Perfect.
Thanks a lot again for all the listeners.
If you enjoyed the episode of today, don't forget to subscribe, activate the bell on YouTube, follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, leave a review if you can, and share it with a couple of friends.
If you have anyone who's planning to move to the Netherlands, share it with that person.
Also give some love to Nina's social media.
Check the book.
Until next time, keep exploring, stay curious and see you in the next episode.
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